Food for Thought- 1/22/08

"The colossal misunderstanding of our time is the assumption that insight will work with people who are unmotivated to change. Communication does not depend on syntax, or eloquence, or rhetoric, or articulation but on the emotional context in which the message is being heard. People can only hear you when they are moving toward you, and they are not likely to when your words are pursuing them. Even the choices words lose their power when they are used to overpower. Attitudes are the real figures of speech." - Edwin H. Friedman

It becomes exhausting to try and tell people things intended for their benefit and them not wanting to have any part of it.

When do we decide to listen to the things people are trying to tell us or see the things people are trying show? For those of us trying to share something or give a little part of us, when do we know when to just stop? To just let go, because nothing said or done, at that present moment will make any difference or carry any influence.

We are here to help each other learn, grow and experience life. We're not here to make each other to do these things. We can only do so much to participate and encourage movement towards them and when efforts seem to become exhausted, it's time to just sit back and watch trial and error take it's place.

Acknowledgement and acceptance of all facets of life are essential.

Have a good day!

Dad

It's amazing how things are different now
More like sad, to tell the truth

When I sit here and wonder what went wrong
Things aren't the same between me and you

Never in my life could I imagine
That things would be this way

That we would grow so far apart
That we would create this much pain

I used to look to you so much
For various little things

Whether it was your wisdom, hugs, advice or such
Or just the comfort you would bring

I knew that when things got tough
You'd be right there to give me strength

You'd never let me give up
You taught me to have faith

You taught me to be honest, to maintain my dignity
To take pride in all the things I do but mostly to take pride in me

You taught me the difference between right and wrong
The meaning of modesty, compassion and loyalty

For this you were the apple of my eye
My confidant, my father, my security

And yet, everything you once taught
The things that made me who I am today

You've come to contradict each one of them
Except for pride- that's the only thing you maintained

This pride and stubbornness you possess
Is what caused our bond to fade

But it would be ignorant of me
To make you the only one to blame

See I've come to realize
There's no difference when our attitude's the same

This is why things are different now
This is why there's pain

The saddest truth is this
Things will probably never be the same

Yet, I'll hold on to memories
How we'd combat nightmares with late night talks

How we'd roll "monster" cheese with grape jelly
And our random father-daughter walks

I'll still hold on to the things you taught
After all, it made me the woman I am today

Until the day things aren't so different anymore
Dad, I'll still have faith

- Susan Abascal