"This is the final test of a gentleman: his respect for those who can be of no possible value to him."
- William Lyon Phelps
Men wonder why women claim there are no good men left in this world. Their mind tends to lapse in processing what is meant by this. What we're referring to are gentlemen. Granted there might be a few and in respects to the world as a whole- it kind of seems like a handful.
Does anyone even know what a gentleman is?
A well-mannered and considerate man with high standards of proper behavior.
gentleman. (n.d.). The American Heritage® Dictionary of the English Language, Fourth Edition.
I think Phelps puts it better though. A man that can respect someone that has no value to him.
See, there are those guys that claim to be gentleman and really aren't. They're the ones that open the door for every pretty lady and maybe even some that aren't. For some reason some men think that that's the extent of their duties as a gentleman. No lie, it is flattering and accomodating. But there still lacks that inner rareity of what a real gentleman is.
I think a selfless man- a gentleman. A man with compassion for humanity. A man that would bestow honesty out of respect, show kindness to someone of lesser stature or more, that would open a door for someone unbias to their gender, generous in any aspect towards anyone-especially those less fortunate. A man that doesn't think of himself any less of a man for saying please and thank you. Not neccessarily a man that holds to traditions, morals and values but one that cultivates and makes his own based on his own sincerity and not so much those of society.
A true gentleman is a rareity. Nevertheless, most women appreciate them and the ones that at least try to be. Maybe it's a woman's part to encourage more of this in men but it just wouldn't be the same if it didn't come from within.
- Susy
Friday, November 9, 2007
Wednesday, November 7, 2007
Dad
It's amazing how things are different now
More like sad, to tell the truth
When I sit here and wonder what went wrong
Things aren't the same between me and you
Never in my life could I imagine
That things would be this way
That we would grow so far apart
That we would create this much pain
I used to look to you so much
For various little things
Whether it was your wisdom, hugs, advice or such
Or just the comfort you would bring
I knew that when things got tough
You'd be right there to give me strength
You'd never let me give up
You taught me to have faith
You taught me to be honest, to maintain my dignity
To take pride in all the things I do but mostly to take pride in me
You taught me the difference between right and wrong
The meaning of modesty, compassion and loyalty
For this you were the apple of my eye
My confidant, my father, my security
And yet, everything you once taught
The things that made me who I am today
You've come to contradict each one of them
Except for pride- that's the only thing you maintained
This pride and stubbornness you possess
Is what caused our bond to fade
But it would be ignorant of me
To make you the only one to blame
See I've come to realize
There's no difference when our attitude's the same
This is why things are different now
This is why there's pain
The saddest truth is this
Things will probably never be the same
Yet, I'll hold on to memories
How we'd combat nightmares with late night talks
How we'd roll "monster" cheese with grape jelly
And our random father-daughter walks
I'll still hold on to the things you taught
After all, it made me the woman I am today
Until the day things aren't so different anymore
Dad, I'll still have faith
- Susan Abascal
More like sad, to tell the truth
When I sit here and wonder what went wrong
Things aren't the same between me and you
Never in my life could I imagine
That things would be this way
That we would grow so far apart
That we would create this much pain
I used to look to you so much
For various little things
Whether it was your wisdom, hugs, advice or such
Or just the comfort you would bring
I knew that when things got tough
You'd be right there to give me strength
You'd never let me give up
You taught me to have faith
You taught me to be honest, to maintain my dignity
To take pride in all the things I do but mostly to take pride in me
You taught me the difference between right and wrong
The meaning of modesty, compassion and loyalty
For this you were the apple of my eye
My confidant, my father, my security
And yet, everything you once taught
The things that made me who I am today
You've come to contradict each one of them
Except for pride- that's the only thing you maintained
This pride and stubbornness you possess
Is what caused our bond to fade
But it would be ignorant of me
To make you the only one to blame
See I've come to realize
There's no difference when our attitude's the same
This is why things are different now
This is why there's pain
The saddest truth is this
Things will probably never be the same
Yet, I'll hold on to memories
How we'd combat nightmares with late night talks
How we'd roll "monster" cheese with grape jelly
And our random father-daughter walks
I'll still hold on to the things you taught
After all, it made me the woman I am today
Until the day things aren't so different anymore
Dad, I'll still have faith
- Susan Abascal
ENFJ Personality- Teacher
ENFJ Personality- Teacher
The Portait of the Teacher (ENFJ)
The Idealists called Teachers are abstract in their thought and speech, cooperative in their style of achieving goals, and directive and extraverted in their interpersonal relations. Learning in the young has to be beckoned forth, teased out from its hiding place, or, as suggested by the word "education," it has to be "educed." by an individual with educative capabilities. Such a one is the eNFj, thus rightly called the educative mentor or Teacher for short. The Teacher is especially capable of educing or calling forth those inner potentials each learner possesses. Even as children the Teachers may attract a gathering of other children ready to follow their lead in play or work. And they lead without seeming to do so.
Teachers expect the very best of those around them, and this expectation, usually expressed as enthusiastic encouragement, motivates action in others and the desire to live up to their expectations. Teachers have the charming characteristic of taking for granted that their expectations will be met, their implicit commands obeyed, never doubting that people will want to do what they suggest. And, more often than not, people do, because this type has extraordinary charisma.
The Teachers are found in no more than 2 or 3 percent of the population. They like to have things settled and arranged. They prefer to plan both work and social engagements ahead of time and tend to be absolutely reliable in honoring these commitments. At the same time, Teachers are very much at home in complex situations which require the juggling of much data with little pre-planning. An experienced Teacher group leader can dream up, effortlessly, and almost endlessly, activities for groups to engage in, and stimulating roles for members of the group to play. In some Teachers, inspired by the responsiveness of their students or followers, this can amount to genius which other types find hard to emulate. Such ability to preside without planning reminds us somewhat of an Provider, but the latter acts more as a master of ceremonies than as a leader of groups. Providers are natural hosts and hostesses, making sure that each guest is well looked after at social gatherings, or that the right things are expressed on traditional occasions, such as weddings, funerals, graduations, and the like. In much the same way, Teachers value harmonious human relations about all else, can handle people with charm and concern, and are usually popular wherever they are. But Teachers are not so much social as educational leaders, interested primarily in the personal growth and development of others, and less in attending to their social needs.
Mikhail Gorbachev, Oprah Winfrey, Pope John Paul II, Ralph Nader, John Wooden, and Margaret Mead are examples of Teacher Idealists.
A full description of the Teacher and the Idealists is in People Patterns or Please Understand Me II
Pygmalion Project: The Teacher
excerpted from The Pygmalion Project: The Idealist, by Dr. Stephen Montgomery Copyright © 1989 Stephen Montgomery
The Idealist most committed to guiding others through the doors of life, or along the pathways of learning and understanding, is the type that Keirsey has named the Teacher (Myers's "ENFJ").
Teachers are natural facilitators in all their relationships, encouraging those around them, urging their personal growth, and taking charge of others (particularly of groups) with an extraordinary enthusiasm and confidence. Indeed, Teachers are so expressive and charismatic in their leadership -- in a word, so inspiring -- that they seem in some ways less coercive than the other Idealists. Keirsey says that, though Teachers are both expressive and role-directive, they manage to "command without seeming to do so," not by means of explicit orders, nor through saintly patience, romantic longing, or mute withdrawal, but by kindling in their students and colleagues their own passion for self-exploration and development. Teachers are masters of the art of positive expectation (or "front-loading"), and they communicate their belief in the evolution of the "self" with such a glow of promise that quite often, as Keirsey tells us, their optimism "induces action" in others, and the "desire to live up to [their] expectations."
Teachers bring all this infectious energy to their intimate relationships as well, and they make passionate and delightfully creative companions. However, at such close range the intensity of their wishes for their loved ones can create interpersonal conflict. Teachers can overwhelm their loved ones with their exuberance, and with their Pygmalion presumption that everyone wants to be helped along the path of self-discovery. Then, when their loved ones either resist their pressure or fail to meet their idealistic expectations, Teachers can feel frustrated, disillusioned, or even betrayed by the persons they care most about.
The Portait of the Teacher (ENFJ)
The Idealists called Teachers are abstract in their thought and speech, cooperative in their style of achieving goals, and directive and extraverted in their interpersonal relations. Learning in the young has to be beckoned forth, teased out from its hiding place, or, as suggested by the word "education," it has to be "educed." by an individual with educative capabilities. Such a one is the eNFj, thus rightly called the educative mentor or Teacher for short. The Teacher is especially capable of educing or calling forth those inner potentials each learner possesses. Even as children the Teachers may attract a gathering of other children ready to follow their lead in play or work. And they lead without seeming to do so.
Teachers expect the very best of those around them, and this expectation, usually expressed as enthusiastic encouragement, motivates action in others and the desire to live up to their expectations. Teachers have the charming characteristic of taking for granted that their expectations will be met, their implicit commands obeyed, never doubting that people will want to do what they suggest. And, more often than not, people do, because this type has extraordinary charisma.
The Teachers are found in no more than 2 or 3 percent of the population. They like to have things settled and arranged. They prefer to plan both work and social engagements ahead of time and tend to be absolutely reliable in honoring these commitments. At the same time, Teachers are very much at home in complex situations which require the juggling of much data with little pre-planning. An experienced Teacher group leader can dream up, effortlessly, and almost endlessly, activities for groups to engage in, and stimulating roles for members of the group to play. In some Teachers, inspired by the responsiveness of their students or followers, this can amount to genius which other types find hard to emulate. Such ability to preside without planning reminds us somewhat of an Provider, but the latter acts more as a master of ceremonies than as a leader of groups. Providers are natural hosts and hostesses, making sure that each guest is well looked after at social gatherings, or that the right things are expressed on traditional occasions, such as weddings, funerals, graduations, and the like. In much the same way, Teachers value harmonious human relations about all else, can handle people with charm and concern, and are usually popular wherever they are. But Teachers are not so much social as educational leaders, interested primarily in the personal growth and development of others, and less in attending to their social needs.
Mikhail Gorbachev, Oprah Winfrey, Pope John Paul II, Ralph Nader, John Wooden, and Margaret Mead are examples of Teacher Idealists.
A full description of the Teacher and the Idealists is in People Patterns or Please Understand Me II
Pygmalion Project: The Teacher
excerpted from The Pygmalion Project: The Idealist, by Dr. Stephen Montgomery Copyright © 1989 Stephen Montgomery
The Idealist most committed to guiding others through the doors of life, or along the pathways of learning and understanding, is the type that Keirsey has named the Teacher (Myers's "ENFJ").
Teachers are natural facilitators in all their relationships, encouraging those around them, urging their personal growth, and taking charge of others (particularly of groups) with an extraordinary enthusiasm and confidence. Indeed, Teachers are so expressive and charismatic in their leadership -- in a word, so inspiring -- that they seem in some ways less coercive than the other Idealists. Keirsey says that, though Teachers are both expressive and role-directive, they manage to "command without seeming to do so," not by means of explicit orders, nor through saintly patience, romantic longing, or mute withdrawal, but by kindling in their students and colleagues their own passion for self-exploration and development. Teachers are masters of the art of positive expectation (or "front-loading"), and they communicate their belief in the evolution of the "self" with such a glow of promise that quite often, as Keirsey tells us, their optimism "induces action" in others, and the "desire to live up to [their] expectations."
Teachers bring all this infectious energy to their intimate relationships as well, and they make passionate and delightfully creative companions. However, at such close range the intensity of their wishes for their loved ones can create interpersonal conflict. Teachers can overwhelm their loved ones with their exuberance, and with their Pygmalion presumption that everyone wants to be helped along the path of self-discovery. Then, when their loved ones either resist their pressure or fail to meet their idealistic expectations, Teachers can feel frustrated, disillusioned, or even betrayed by the persons they care most about.
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